Lately, my social media feed has been catering to everything I’m not. It’s a feed of Christian nationalism. A feed of opinions that trigger me, that frustrate me. I find that sometimes I log in to an alt account and begin arguing with people online. Despite the motto to communicate when: it’s necessary, true and kind; I have found that myself bypassing that to focus on what I believe to be true and necessary, but not kind. Reflecting the energy of the angry, arrogant Christian, I became like them to debate them. Through the monthly discourse lessons, the Mahanta has exposed something I’ve been doing wrong, for me to look at.

This month’s discourse (BeCause) deals with the idea of causation. Why things are the way they are. While reaching out to the Mahanta, I found my eyes resting on something in my backyard. From my sofa, I can see a brick wall in the back yard. Early in the morning I can see the shadows of my trees dancing and flittering on the brick wall. My eyes were transfixed, to a point of question: why is this so interesting? What is so important about it?

In the spirit of finding messages in everyday things, I chose this shadow play as an opportunity of growth. The Mahanta explained to me that I’ve been pre-occupied with the shadows of life, and not with life itself. I’m not looking at the proverbial trees, but the proverbial shadows instead.

Where we cast our vision, is where we exist. Rather than exist in the light, I’ve chose to exist in the shadows. Removing the metaphor, to clarify this for the reader, I’ve been existing in the point of contention that I despise. Rooting myself in argument and debate, in hostility… I’ve become the opposition.

There are several take-aways here…

1. There is light in everything that casts a shadow. I’ve chosen to apply the shadow as the identity of opposition
2. By fixating and fighting the shadow, I’ve succumbed to it – becoming so similar to the opposition
3. Life has became a place of shadow, when it has vast components of light being ignored
4. It is my karma that has caused the rendering and fixation of shadow in my world