This month, for me, it’s the discourse on dreams. Each time I chant Sugmad, before I fall to sleep, I remember the dreams I have.

One of my dreams was about living in a commune with people who wore blue robes. I brought my family to this commune and I helped out with the food. I was asked to get some special knives for the fish. I went into the pantry with a bit of stress as there was an older woman there who ran the kitchen and she was a challenge to deal with. She started in on me that I wasn’t doing something right. She lashed out harshly several times. It was like working with Gordon Ramsey. I reached a point of frustration and I snapped back at her, calling her an awful name. She choked up, perhaps because no one ever did that before.

I walked out of the kitchen, wondering “why am I here if I’m just going to be bullied and verbally abused?”

I sat down at a table on the compound, and these farmer-like people were there. One offered me something to eat. I declined, still in a foul mood (despite their hospitality). Then the lady from the kitchen walked by and handed me a note. It looked like a fortune-cookie note. I read it and it was an instruction for forgiveness or absolution. It had a statement to read 8x a day. I was still so upset though, I put it away. I remembered thinking, “if i could just get beyond my pride and do this, I will grow spiritually,” but I was stubborn.

Dream ended.

The next dream was about an apartment. I was living there with my wife, my mother (who’s deceased) and someone I don’t know. As it’s been awhile since I’ve been awake I don’t remember the details.

Analysis

In thinking about this some more, I’ve come to the idea that the woman who was difficult was helping me get closer to God. In going past my ego, my pride, I was entering a new phase. It felt like verbal abuse, and perhaps it was in one way of looking at things, but from another analysis, it was my path to Sugmad.

It would only be constructive, if I could frame it in the way towards Sugmad. By thinking of this as the overcoming of lower nature, I could break free of it.