As part of Eckankar student Lesson 1, we are given an opportunity to string together moments from our life experiences. We ponder what got us to this point?

Seeming harsh things, or scary things, may turn into the path itself. In my personal life I grew up in a strict pentecostal home. My father a minister.

I had family that burned my books, and when I refused, would threaten me with exorcism, saying “these books are occult and magic. They must be burned and if you refuse you are in alignment with the devil!”

It was scary to face that as a teenager. To see people caught up in the “satanic panic,” declaring you a “satanist” if you wont burn books on other religions or burn books by J.R.R. Tolkien.

But these incidents of extremism, like seeing that, or a sibling who believed my first wife would destroy our “pure bloodline” because she was African American. The racism, the fear mongering, I saw it for what it was and how easily people of faith can fall victims to authoritarian regimes. Creating harm, instead of benefit.

My wife left me in time, for someone else. It hurt. I gave up on my life and I signed a waiver for her to leave the relationship and take our daughter overseas to live with someone she met. I completely gave up on myself. As sad as it was at that time, it also opened a door for me to return to my spiritual quest. A quest started when I was in my youth.

I became a Buddhist, explored occultism, paganism, Scientology, was a member of a dozen or more groups. But what caused me to leave them? I realized that I wanted to learn from the master within me, and not be told what to do from authorities in the system.

Many years prior I came across a Eckankar building in Los Angeles. I was interested in learning more, but I never did. But the name stuck with me. It was unusual, it was different.

One day, realizing I need a path, and I needed some external guidance, I looked for a group that matched my world view. On impulse I looked up Eckankar to see what they believed. The view of being a Soul, the view of out of body experiences not being “traveling from point a to point b” but rather becoming aware of already existing there, the idea of God being neither male nor female, all these ideas were mine. Ideas I came to know as truth through my own inner exploration. These are not common beliefs. Today, most people believe in a gendered god… either old school “male” or new school “female.” But I knew deep down there was no gender with God… God was beyond that. While people talked about astral projecting and moving to a location, I knew deep down it was not movement, but waking up to that point in space and time. I also resonated with Sri Harold Klemp and his lack of control. Lectures I would listen to would have him suggest, but never command, people obey him: “put your feet on the floor for this exercise, well if you feel that is a command then listen to what you feel is comfortable for you to do this…” how amazing is that? A leader who isn’t authoritarian.